A student without Master

...............Hello Blog!

......................................................................................................Yehey! Today is my Birthday!

      ................I am now 21 years old by Physique yet 27 years old at Mind and 30 years old at Heart!

I am very thankful because I had time to write again on my Blog at burst again my emotions.

.......................Why is it so hard to burst your emotions to your friends even my closest friends. I want to cry out loud just like my friends do when they feel alone and lonely. I have so many friends that gave me their trust to share their feelings but why can't I give back anything, Anything. I want also to share my emotions to them, I want to show them the very soft side of me. Yeah, I always share my past but not my feelings........................

......................Too much Pressure..........
               
                               Too Much Worries.................................

                                        Responsibilities..........................................................

                                                 Too Much What's IF's...................................................

                                 
            ................Sometimes I am easily get Irritated and Annoyed. Sometimes I feel discomfort.


...................... Sometimes I found Happiness when I'm alone, Thinking, Thinking Thinking, I don't know why but I feel comfortable when your surroundings are new and strangers to you.........


............. Few Months Ago, I met this person that caught my attention. Not in romantic way. Duh!!! hahaha Not that usual thing that I always put here in my blog. hahaha, Speaking of. How are you Wo Peng Yu?!!!! I Know you are doing well. Actually You are doing GREAT! Okay Back to story, whenever I see that person, there is something that I want to share. There is something in my heart saying "Go! Ask some advice. You need help! Go! Don't be afraid. Show your soft side. There's nothing to Lose!" But then my mind will encounter saying "No, You only met that person for months! Don't trust him with your feelings! They come and will go! Just like the other people do. They Don't Really Care. Yeah, They want to hear some pain and challenges but never care with your fight. They have their fight. I have mine!.............................................

...................................................Yeah! Friends do come and Go! There's nothing to do with that. Change is Nature. I know!.........................................................



All I want to have that Friend that approach me and offer help voluntarily. I am getting tired of chasing people. I am tired in making efforts just to be noticed. I want to have that Friend that understands me. I want to have that friend that cry with me and laugh with me. I don't need a partner. All I need is a FRIEND.



Okay Blog,

I will write again if I have Time. I really missed this thing hahaha,,,,,,, I know,  My grammar is very alarming! hahaha I Don't Care. hahaha

Okay Bye for now :D




   

MY FIVE YEAR LIFE PLAN

Back when I was a child, when I with my father were having a Father-and-son conversation in front of our house, it was so memorable that even today the memories from that night were still in my mind. My father asked me, “What is your plan in life?” I felt weird when I heard that question because how 11 year old kids can imagine his entire life to be planned with details. And I answered, “I don’t know yet, I want to enjoy being a kid though I was on my 2^nd year in high school. I have imagined myself to be successful but I don’t have details for that yet.” My father told me that I should have a life plan. He said that I should have tracks on what age shall I finish in college, pass in board exam, get a job and even my marrying age should be planned. Every time I got myself to think, I always planning on what should I do these next few years of my life.

                My 5 year life plan journey begins when I have passed the board exam. And this will happen on the next board exam year 2016. My 5 year life plan is stated as follows:

Year 2016 & 2017 (after Board exam):

                Actually I will continue my educational career. I love learning, I really do. I want to have a specialization in Civil Engineering Profession, its either getting a Master’s degree In Civil Engineering major in Structural Engineering or Engineering Management. But right after getting my license, I will apply a job in Makati or Taguig for at least 2 years. I want to do these at the same time.

Year 2018

                My life from the year 2017 will continue in the year 2018. I will build my body in a healthier and better shape. Also, I will to find my long lost childhood friends. I want to introduce myself to them again. I want to know how they are doing today. And I missed them. If I can still manage my time, I will become a Professor to be my part-time.

Year 2019

                I will seek and get a job opportunity to my dream countries SINGAPORE, DUBAI and AUSTRALIA. This will depend whether I got my master’s degree or not. If I will still pursue my Masters, I will wait my Graduation first before going to abroad.

Year 2020

     January 28, 2020, our parent’s Silver Anniversary. I will give them their dream Honeymoon; have a Tour in Macau as their gift. In this year, I will start to earn money to build my Dream House and one of the features inside my house is a Dance Studio where I can do my favorite hobby and that is dancing (Contemporary Dance). In this Year or earlier I will be at Singapore or Dubai or Australia working.

Year 2021

     In this year, my goals and my activities from my past years will continue. I will earn Capital to my future business, Piggery Farm. I want to become the supplier of meat in some Restaurants and Markets. I want to continue our Family Business. In this way, I can help my neighborhood to have an income. And if my farm will grow and grow I will build a Restaurant together with my friends.

AFTER MY 5 YEAR JOURNEY I WILL TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD AND I WILL LEARN EVERY COUNTRY’S CULTURE AND TRADITION

I made this Dance Cover of Hair by Lady Gaga

This song talks about acceptance between society and ego.

The concept of this video is a man dancing through a silhouette.
 People who are bullied, labeled and dismembered hid their selves into their darkest and invisible identity to cover their true color of personality!
They feel naked and unprotected.
They feel no warm!
They feel Nontransparent!

Here are some of the lyrics of Hair by Lady Gaga
 "I just wanna be myself
And I want you to love me for who I am
I just wanna be myself
And I want you to know, I am my hair"

That Called thing "BARKADA"

In all fairness,

It Hurts hurting myself,

I don't know why, 

why am I doing this!

I still feel the pain brought by my fist towards my head!

But this article is not about me!

uhm...

Partially yes but not!

Its all about what my friends did to me!

I appreciate my friends! It was simple tho, I think they were not aware! hahaha

I know they were bully sometimes, they were happy, 

and they THEY WERE AFFECTIONATE!

I don't know!

They were affected by my weird actions, (duh! of coarse)

but seriously I was Touched!

They cannot communicate well when I am in trouble!

They were making (not trying) to make me smile! 

They even hug me, treated me, and sometimes invites me to go jamming (well, actually that is EGGS+2), and sometimes They just let me feel the moment, extract all negative auras and they will just smile!

My friends have different ways how to comfort a member of this family!

Some of us, know how to listen!

Some of us, know how to speak!

Some of us, know how to react (sometimes!)

Some of us, know how to make you smile!

okay, ENOUGH for this MELODRAMATIC ARTICLES!

I should be strong!

I should be determined!

I should be the Man, MY FAMILY and EGGS + 2, wanted to be!

HAPPY!

I LOVE EGGS+2!

MY Ohana here in BAGUIO!

Distrust the Trustworthy

10:00 pm

25 minutes before I publish this article,





I have received another HILARIOUS news from a person who is so close to me,


News about GREEDINESS!




Why do they need to do that?

                         Why do they need other innocent people to satisfy their wants?


                                         Why do they need to fool others to call their selves GREEDY?



People are parasites to their own kind.

                 There are people who entrust their hope to a "life changing opportunity"...

                         and There are people who use those hope as an advantage.


     Okay let's start this story!


There was this group that publicized an opportunity for those people who need luck!

          They promised that they will award winners for their game.

                   When I call a game it means it involves money, A LOT OF MONEY!

                       
This group encourages people to buy their products. Apply for their game and win!



"GANUN PALA YUN!"


Fortunately, of coarse, One participant of that game won and expected to bring a bacon!


but That promise was turned into stone.



It was just a bait!



They used that participant to get what they want.


They promised to give a 100% guarantee, but it turned to be a <10% guarantee.



They extracted a lot of money from People's penny!



The group with its companion decided to share the money extracted.


and the worse thing is....

They encourage people to "Illegalize" their personality and identity to continue their modus!


I never thought that this group can do this kind of greediness!




They set rules to fulfill,

                                           They provided standards to obey

                                                                             They bring orders to abide.


                             
But they broke it!


This groups.......



They should not be respected,

     They should not be seen,

              They should not be trusted!

           





                         I want to publicize your wrong doing!

                                    But I LOVE SAFETY!

                                            I am not coward!

                                                       I am not afraid!

                                                                 


                                                   Beware!



Before you ECHO your FALSE ADVOCACY,


                                              THINK!


      A CHILD IS LAUGHING!
     

   

             

6 years from now

Yesterday, we, EGGS + 2,  went to Dairy Farm to inspect a setting for our friend's film.
There we bought Yogurt too.

After that, we decided to go to Green Valley to have some Barbecue Snack before we go home but Fortunately we decided to go to Sports Complex.

We had joy, We had fun, We had seasons in the fog.

After visiting the complex we decided to go back to terminal, walking.

There we talked about our future:



Our Lives, 6 years from now!

Our Achievements, 6 years from now!

6 individuals yet sharing with only 1 dream.

We talked our reunion, our memories that we can make 6 years from now.

We promised with each other that We shall keep in touch even though we are 3000 miles apart.

It was so nice to imagine,
It was so great that night,
Twas' like we were ready to face the future.

Once we carried the name EGGS in our identity, it shall last forever!

Actually we are  not the only people in the group, We have other members of the OHANA!


Ohana means FAMILY, and no one must be left behind!

We are family.
When one of us is in trouble
               We are there to support and help.
We bully each other, but we do not let others humiliate us.
No one shall DARE to underestimate us!
No one shall have the guts to step us down!

I believe this family is strong and can even transcend lifetimes!


Engineering Guild in Giant Steps + 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NUMB

I feel NOTHING...............

I am not Happy,

nor Sad,

I am not Excited,

nor afraid.

I am not jealous,

nor secured.

I feel NOTHING.

3 months before I wrote this post. 2 terrible news changed ME.

(flashback)

Since I was a child, I taught myself how to control my emotions. I taught myself to think rational and balance all situations. I grew to be a PERFECTIONIST. 

Back when I was a child,

I committed a lot of mistakes,

lost a toy, stole a 5 pesos in our cabinet, wrong solution for area and perimeter, spilled gravy sauce, my first cuss, my first pee in the class, did not complete the A B C in the notebook, I spanked my sister, burned rice, cat stole our food, no sports, tv maniac, improper "kammet", bought a sim card worth Php. 100, and all other simple mistakes I can remember in my mind. I grew up with full of criticisms and opinions. 

I was bullied, I was humiliated, I was shocked, I was labeled and Underestimated.

All these scene was kept by memories, hid by time and suppressed by determination and dreams.

I am already 19 years old and grew feeling nothing.

-end flashback-

These terrible news made me feel angry, sad and guilty. 

I judged a person, cursed a person, and cussed a person.

I blamed my self and let my negative aura drove me to circumstances.

I prayed to God, not to feel angry to anyone

I prayed to God to give me an inner peace.

And because of these rational thinking,

I feel no emotions.

My mind dominated my emotions,

Even my Love Drive faded

I am a Living Dummy of my own Body.

I frequently thinking Lunatic Things,

But does not mean I'm going Insane,

I am NUMB, not CRAZY

There's a diffrence.

Every mistake I made,

I feel irritated (is that a feeling? yes, I do had a feeling!)

Sometimes I wanna cry just to lessen my burden,

but why is mind telling "You should not be crying, don't show your weaknesses"

Why?!

 Maybe 

because I used to manage all these emotions when I was a child.

Maybe 

because my past was too painful and my heart became immune to all these stuff.

I don't consider myself Mature because I am still not,

But as time goes by,

I am learning how to fight,

How to bend with society,

How to think professional.

I don't know what will happen to the future, but as of now

11:47 pm Feb. 26, 2015 

Emotion has no space for Decisions and Thinking!